The Switch

Nobody goes to see a romantic comedy and expect to be surprised. We know the plot before movie starts. Boy meets girl, boy engages in a hilarious subterfuge with the coaxing of a quirky side kick, girl finds out, boy loses girl, boy runs to airport in the rain, girl forgives boy with very public display of affection. We don’t want to stray from the path, we know the destination and we just want to have few laughs on route. We know most Rom Coms are formulaic, but the romantic in us keeps this genre lucrative.

While Jennifer Aniston is close to being labeled Box-Office napalm, the initial appeal of The Switch is Jason Bateman. His wonderful performance as Michael Bluth in Arrested Development and a surprising turn in Juno, have deservedly rescued this former child-star from oblivion and made him a very likeable everyman. His film roles since have been less than challenging, so here is his opportunity to crank up the star power and carry a movie. Unfortunately he doesn’t do either.

The concept is simple in theory but very complicated and slightly unsettling in practice. Aniston needs a sperm donor, Bateman is her best friend but she doesn’t want him to be the donor. He gets drunk and switches his product with the donor’s. 7 years later they meet again and he realizes the kid is his.

As a movie The Switch is crap, as a romantic comedy it’s nothing short of a disaster. There are so many problems with this film that it is hard to pinpoint which one drags it from bland to infuriating. There is zero chemistry between the two leads. I’m not even sure if they like each other so the idea of them falling in love is going to be a stretch. It is never explained how they became friends, or why they remain so when one barely tolerates the other. A puzzling, indolent voice over describes events that happen off camera. For example, Aniston’s character leaves NYC after she gets pregnant and returns 7 years later. It’s never clear why this happened or why they lost contact And there is no comedy in this Rom-Com. Jeff Goldblum plays the quirky sidekick role but he’s the only one laughing at his quips, probably because he can’t believe he’s getting paid to spout this nonsense. Granted, the cute kid is cute, and his precocious neurosis provides the movie’s sole charm, but did we really need a bonding scene revolving around headlice? Everyone in the cinema was itching at that point and not just to leave the theatre.

The usual plot devices are there, but they never ring true. There is a romantic interloper, a coupling that springs up so suddenly and insincerely it couldn’t possibly be perceived as a threat. There is an inappropriate and public admission of truth, which produces much eye-rolling. And of course there is the soundtrack (Eels, if I remember correctly) montage of the lonely lead pondering his mistakes. At this point we are just waiting for the dash to the airport.

But it doesn’t happen. In fact nothing happens, just the weakest most unsatisfactory proposal in the history of cinema, where the response is “...probably”

Aniston will be blamed for the failure of The Switch, and although she is horrific, it’s unfair to place the blame solely on her shoulders. This is a lazy effort. The performances, the script, the humour, the pace – it’s all ineffective. It seems like all the cast and crew where contractually obliged to make this film, when nobody really wanted to. The Switch is too lethargic to fit into the genre, yet it’s too formulaic to be anything else.